Parenting Tips

5 Tips on How to Calm an Angry Child (Plus 10 Practical Comfort Phrases)8 min read

Do you ever feel like you’re at your wit’s end when it comes to dealing with an angry child?


It can be really tough trying to calm them down and get them to listen.

But you know what?

Anger is a natural emotion that we all experience at some point in our lives. For children, anger can be especially difficult to manage, especially when it feels like it’s constantly bubbling over.

But what happens when your child is so enraged that nothing seems able to console him?
How do you calm an angry kid down?

If you’re clueless on the best way to help your angry child come down, don’t worry, I’ve got you covered. I’ll share with you 6 tips on how to calm an angry child without feeling entirely overwhelmed.


Okay. Let’s jump right in.

1.Figure Out What Is Making Your Child Angry

Before you do anything else, try to understand what’s upsetting your child.


It can be really easy to take your child’s anger personally.


On the surface it might appear that they’re screaming at the top of their lungs and throwing a tantrum because you won’t buy them the toy they want (hey public tantrum!). But it could also be a whole host of other things that are causing your child’s anger.


To get a clear picture of what’s making your child so angry, you need to put yourself in their shoes and think about what’s going on from their perspective.


It can be helpful to make a list of things that may be influencing your child’s emotions. For example, maybe they’re having a tough time adjusting to a new schedule or baby, or they’re tired from having so much fun at the amusement park all day long.


Maybe something is going on in your child’s life that you didn’t know about. Perhaps they’re going through a tough time at school and are getting picked on by their classmates.


It can be challenging getting into your child’s head and think about what might be making them angry. But the more you understand the leading cause of your child’s anger, the easier it will be to calm them down.

2. Acknowledge Their Feelings and Provide Comfort

The next step to calming down an angry child is to try and acknowledge their feelings. Even if you don’t fully understand what’s going on, it’s vital that you at least try to sympathize with your child

It can be difficult, primarily if your child directs his anger towards you. They can act aggressively by kicking, biting, or hitting you. Before you even think of the best way to stop your child from hitting you, it’s vital that you acknowledge that they’re upset.


The more you’re conscious about their big feelings, the easier it will be for them to calm down. Just remember that your child knows how to feel angry better than you do.


So let them ride the angry wave without judgement.


So, what’s the best way to acknowledge your child’s feelings?

  • Lend an ear— “I’m here if you want to talk about it.”
  • Hug them.
  • Use comfort phrases like — “It’s okay, I understand how you’re feeling and I’m not mad at you for being angry. Let’s find a solution that works for both of us.”

10 Comfort Phrases You Can Use To Comfort an Angry Child

Children are in their most vulnerable state when they’re angry. They may feel powerless and abandoned.


As a parent, it can be difficult to know what to say in the moment to help your child calm down. Here are 10 phrases that parents have found helpful for calming an angry child down:

1. When your kid is having a massive meltdown, and you’re about to fly off the handle

Instead of “Stop crying already!” Try “I’m here, let it all out.” 

2. When your child is having a fit by throwing toys all over the place

Instead of “Stop throwing your toys on the floor,” Try. “I see you’re throwing your toys on the floor. Does that mean you’re done playing with them?”

3. When your child is upset because they don’t want to go upstairs to brush their teeth

Instead of “Go brush your teeth now,” Try “Should we start brushing your Teddy’s teeth or yours?”

4. When your child is having a meltdown and decides to redecorate the wall and décor with spaghetti sauce

Instead of “Stop throwing your food on the floor,” Try, “I see you’re playing with your food now. Does that mean you’re full?”

5. When your child explodes like a firecracker at the mall because you refused to buy them a toy

Instead of “I’m not buying the toy, and that’s it.”, Try, “I know how tough it is not to get what you want. Let’s go outside and get all the feelings out”.

6. When your toddler has a public tantrum out of nowhere, and you want to hide in the nearest bush

Instead of “Can you stop it, you’re embarrassing me.” Try, “It seems you need some time to express how you feel. Do you need a hug?”

7. When your child keeps hitting their sibling

Instead of “Stop hitting your sister!” Try, “It’s okay to be upset buddy! But I won’t allow you to hit your sister. Okay?”

8. When your child has an epic meltdown because they want to stay indoors and not go outside to the park

Instead of “Let’s go to the park, and I’m not arguing with you.” Try, “Which one of your toys would you want to bring to the park today?”

9. When your child is distressed because they want to have ice cream at 6:00 AM

Instead of “You’re not having ice cream this early.” Try, “We’ll have ice cream later after lunch, which flavor would you like?”

10. When your child keeps complaining about dinner and why you keep cooking broccoli every damn night

Instead of “You complain too much. Just be grateful you have food to eat”, Try, “Seems you don’t like broccoli that much. What other vegetable would you like us to try next?”

3. Model Positive Anger Management Skills Yourself

Don’t react with anger towards your child anger. For example, if they think you’re mean for not letting them go out, don’t respond with shouting and anger.


It’s okay for you to show your child that you’re angry if they’ve misbehaved, but try not to take it out on them by shouting and getting mad at them.


Letting them know that you’re mad is one thing. Allowing them to see your rage is another.

Stay calm when talking to your child.

The more you show them that you can control your anger, the easier it will be for them to do the same.


For example, if they’re screaming and shouting because you won’t let them go out, instead of getting all worked up yourself, try calmly saying, “I know this is really hard for you right now because you want to go out. But I need you to calm down so that we can talk about this properly.”


Anger isn’t bad or wrong.


In fact, anger is a very important emotion, and it can be helpful for children to learn to understand what it means when they’re feeling angry. It’s equally important to know how to deal with anger when directed towards you.


The best way to help your child manage their emotions is for you to show them how to do so yourself. The more they see you dealing with difficult situations positively, the more likely they’ll be able to learn healthy ways of managing their anger too.

5. Help them find a way to express their anger in a healthy way

One of the most important things you can teach your children about anger is that it’s okay to be angry, but there are healthy ways to express it.


Expressing anger in a healthy way means teaching them what they can and cannot do when they feel furious.


One thing you could say is: “We all get upset sometimes, and we feel like shouting or screaming or hitting something; however this isn’t right because it hurts us and other people. So instead when I get really angry I write in my diary about how I am feeling- which helps me calm down”.


Or you could give them a pillow if they want some physical outlet for the anger so that you don’t have to worry about them hurting themselves or someone else by throwing things around the room!

5 Practical Tips to Calm an Angry Child Down Without Losing It

There you have it-5 Tips on how to calm an angry child.


As a parent, especially a first-time mum, it can be overwhelming seeing your kid upset and having a meltdown.


And it’s normal that you might feel clueless about what to do. But with what we’ve covered today in this post, I bet you have powerful tools in your arsenal to help comfort your child the next time they have a meltdown (because we know it’s underway).

Did you find this article helpful?

I’d love to know your thoughts and suggestions.


Please leave a comment down below.


And if you’re interested in other refreshing posts on how to navigate and enjoy motherhood, have a look at the blog for more content.


Thank you for reading.

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