Self-Care

Mom Rage: What to Do When You Can’t Take it Anymore5 min read

When you’re a mom, there are times when it feels like everything is just too much. The noise, the chaos, the never-ending need for attention can be overwhelming.

And sometimes, that anger just bubbles up until you feel like you might explode. If that sounds familiar, don’t worry – you’re not alone.

In this blog post, I’ll talk about mom rage and how to deal with it when it happens. I’ll also share some ideas on what to do when things get so bad that you can’t take it anymore.

So read on to find out more!

 

What is mom rage, and how can you tell if you’re experiencing it?

Mom rage or Maternal Anger is more than being upset or frustrated.

It’s an overwhelming feeling of irritation that you find it hard to control your outbursts. One way to tell-tale sign that you’re about to have mom rage is that you find almost everything and everyone irritating. Once you start feeling like your kids and spouse are getting on your nerves all the time, you need to get a break. 

Another indicator that you’re experiencing bouts of rage is that you yell a lot. Anything can trigger you off, like your toddler messing up the house or your spouse leaving the kitchen cupboards open. The interesting thing to note about maternal rage is that you’ll be set off by small things that you’d normally ignore.

If you’re not the yelling type, then you’ll find yourself getting irritated more and being dismissive to your child. 

 

The causes of mom rage and how they can affect your daily life

We know how challenging parenting can be. The responsibility of taking care of everyone can be stressful for anyone. And no matter how calm or relaxed you might be, we all have a breaking point. 

You might be the ideal definition of “Zen,” but when stress builds up, you’re only a tantrum or one damn dirty dish away from exploding. 

Mom rage doesn’t just affect your kids. It always affects your well-being. For your kids, having to deal with an angry mum all the time affects their emotional and mental state, which isn’t a good recipe for raising healthy kids.

As for you, constantly being upset and snapping at everyone and everything adds a level of stress to your body that eventually affects your health and mood.

So you see, there is actually nothing but bad vibes.

 

How to deal with mom rage when it comes up?

The best and most practical way to deal with the angry mom syndrome is to identify your triggers. Once you know what sets you off, you can learn to regulate your emotions.

Let’s say you get angry when your child takes too long to sleep at bedtime because they invent all sorts of excuses to stay awake longer. Deep down, you know that you can only find your “me time” once the kids are asleep. So, in this case, bedtime is your trigger.

The best way to deal with this situation is to make sure your child tires themselves before bedtime. That way, they won’t have the energy to ask you to read another bedtime story because they’ll probably pass out 5 mins into the first story.

So, if you have to take your kid to the park in the afternoon, do it. If engaging your child in active play for an hour or 2 will help make bedtime more manageable and prevent you from losing your patience, do it. 

If you pay close attention to how you feel when you’re upset, you’ll realize that sometimes your kids are not always the triggers. You might be stressed with work, spouse, a friend, or the crazy expectations of being a perfect “mum.” 

Having a fit of anger is a sign that you’re stressed out and some critical needs of your life are not being met. It can be emotional, physical, mental needs, or even sexual. Once you pinpoint your triggers, you’re in a better place to control your emotions. This doesn’t happen automatically; it’s something you have to practice a lot. 

What to do when you can’t take it anymore and need a break from your kids?

Sometimes, no matter what you do, you’ll feel like you’re at your wit’s end.

What do you do when the buildup is too much to handle, and you need a break from your kids?

  1. Step outside, even if it’s for 5 mins, and be by yourself for a bit. If you have the time, you can take a walk. Go for a run. Or just sleep on the grass and stare at the sky.
  2. If you’re capable of hiring help, use that time to unwind. You can meet your friends for lunch. Schedule a facial, or go to the movies. 
  3. Lastly, if yelling happens more often than once a day – maybe even multiple times per day – please seek professional help from someone who knows about maternal aggression and frustration, like an occupational therapist, psychologist, or counselor.

Mom Rage: How to Avoid Being an Angry Mum

Mom rage is real.

It’s a complicated topic because we don’t want to paint motherhood in a bad light. But from experience, we all know it’s not always rainbows and sunshine. Some days we get overwhelmed raising our kids while juggling other tasks like work and household chores. 

But almost every mum at some point (or many points) experiences mom rage. You may feel guilty, and like you’re a terrible mom after you lash out. But that doesn’t mean you are one. In fact, it just means that you’re stressed out, and some of your most basic needs aren’t being met.

So next time you find yourself in the grips of maternal anger, know that you’re not alone. 

To help yourself stay in control instead of just letting the rage take hold, identify what makes you mad so that you can avoid those situations if possible. If not, don’t beat yourself up about losing control or yelling – forgive yourself and try to do better next time!

I’d love to know how you deal with maternal anger.

Please leave your thoughts in the comments below or email me hello@wanjirumwangi.com, and we can chat about it.

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